Friendship (Repost from Facebook)

Nothing fancy about that title. Doesn't leave much room for misinterpretation of the subject matter. Just friendship. I haven't written for quite a while. There's probably not much point in writing when you have nothing to say. (Although Seinfeld did have a great run @ a show about "nothing.") Nothing to say either to another or to yourself. But that's kind of where I've been for the better part of the summer. Perhaps it's the onset of cool early mornings or the daylight retreating to its proper parameter but it seems that Autumnal feelings are arriving early this year. I first notice the inviting evenings; I next notice the shift on my iPod. Ryan Adams, Over the Rhine, Jack Johnson and Josh Ritter have won the day. I can see the Jayhawks conversing with Wilco on the horizon. Yeah, Fall will be here soon. And so, in that fertile earth I've been thinking about friendship. It's a reoccurring theme in our home, but only because it matters. Probably more than we acknowledge. All of us.

In Court last week a few of my colleagues, the Judge and I were discussing certain changes that had occurred in the practice of law over the last decades. As I think about it, I can't remember how many of us were participating in the conversation. But I do recall one older gent making the point that friendship and civility played a much lesser role in the modern practice of law. There was a time, not too long ago, where the consequences of inappropriate behavior were tempered by the out of Court friendships of the lawyers. That is, the non-professional friendship kept the professional aggression and competitiveness in its proper place and perspective. That is not to say that the representation of clients suffered. Quite the contrary.

I have a friend who has recently moved his family to North Dakota. We miss them. We won't see them for a year.

I have a friend who is getting divorced. It's complicated. They always are. Adult relationships some times get messy and people get hurt. He and his wife are both good people and good parents. I hope they both find joy.

I have a friend who no longer calls me one. He has removed me from his facebook "friend" list.

I have a friend with whom I will soon be spending a "race weekend" in Chicago. We do it every year. He plays guitar in our band. He is indeed my com-padre.

So, I've been thinking a lot about friends and what it means to be one. And to have one. And why it matters. I've been trying to distill why I've been mussing along these lines and what it is that I wish to convey in this note. Here's the heart of it: I think friends matter, among other reasons, because they take us outside of ourselves and provide the opportunity for us to prove our humanity. They offer, for each of us, an invitation to selflessness as opposed to our natural inclination toward selfishness. That's a rich offer indeed.

As for me, I like that old song by the Band, "Rocking Chair:"

Hang around, Willie Boy,
Don't you raise the sails anymore.
It's for sure, that I've spent my whole life at sea,
And I'm pushin' age seventy three,
And there's only one place that was meant for me.

Oh, to be home again,
Down in old Virginny,
With my very best friend.
They call him Ragtime Willie.
We're gonna soothe away the rest of our years.
We're gonna put away all of our tears.
That big rockin' chair won't go nowhere.

On the porch with my friends as I watch the sun set on my days. My bride by my side and our home full of family, friends and neighbors. That's just the way it should be. Just like a Norman Rockwell print. I'll make sure that I invest what I need today to ensure that I have that rich friendship dividend pay off later...